"I wrote a book and it only took me 11 years. (Shut up, Stephen King.) You should probably go buy it right now, because it’s filled with awesomeness. And cocaine. But only if you hollow it out and fill it with your own cocaine. I’m not buying you cocaine. Because I love you. And that’s why you should buy my book. Because I’m saving you from yourself. And from cocaine. YOU’RE WELCOME."
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